I’m writing today because I made a commitment to take one definitive business action everyday and report it to my business accountability partner (BAP). She is the one who suggested the topic.
I blame it on being a Gemini (one our traits can be ZERO follow through), but that doesn’t matter. What matters is I am exasperatingly challenged to stick with anything for very long. Even as I write this, it’s absolutely not true – I’ve been with my current beau for 14 years, been in the fitness industry for 25 years (10 as a traditional aerobics instructor, 20 as a personal trainer of some sort, 15 as a Nia teacher and 10 as a Pilates teacher), I keep my cars for 10 years at least. So – OBVIOUSLY – I have some ability to stick with stuff.
Then there is Menopause (more aptly perimenopause, since I only hit 1 year menses-free this month). Which, unrealized by me, has been kicking my butt pretty hard for the last three years, at least, and can sap any version of ambition and drive right out of your soul.
Three weeks ago, I felt like I was finally coming up for entrepreneurial air. Even my BAP commented on how she hadn’t seen me this sparked in the whole time we’ve been partnered (a year now). After our session, I took one action. Then I completely tanked – businesswise – for the next two weeks. It’s embarrassing, depressing, confusing, frustrating, saddening, and maddening, just to name a few.
In the deepest throes of “I’m such a sh*t” and “I should just go out and get a real job,” I did one thing I know gets me out of my funk: talk to someone else, especially if they are in need of service I can provide. I called one of my super good friends who had been conspicuously MIA (I know when this happens she is usually up to her earballs in the selfcrap we all experience from time to time). So I check in with her – my own agenda is to listen to someone else’s problems to get me outta of the funk of mine.
We had SUCH a great chat (hmmm, I think. Apparently when her husband sees her crying on his end of the phone he knows she is talking to me… uhhhhhhh – she says it’s a good thing)! AND it reminds me of how great I am at reflecting other’s greatness and humanness back to them in a completely compassionate and judgement-free way, even if they might need to get off their butts or say “see ya” to the pity party they might be in. It also reminds me of how, when we are in the FRAY, it’s so difficult to manage our own dramas, dilemmas and crises. It can be difficult to cut through the emotion, the brutal self pulverizing, self pounding, self walloping, the fatalism. But this is how we help each other. You can see for me what I can’t for myself, you can remind me that I’m just human, that mostly I’m doing really well and remind me of all I have achieved when I forget. I am REALLY good at that for my friends and I feel blessed that I have friends that are good at it with me.
I remember – oh, right, I LOVE doing this, she feels better, I feel better, and it’s something I keep wondering if I could do as “my work” or part of “my work.” NOW I am completely turned on after two weeks of business paralysis.
I realize that I need to set some structure in place to move this idea forward, for better or worse – good idea or not – money maker or flop. I know I’m skyping with my BAP the next day and think, “how might she help me?” Of course, it’s really about me doing the work and, BAM! I get this SCRUMPTIOUSLYtastic idea of taking a business action every day and reporting it to her. Here are the clear and present directives:
DEFINITVE business action (aka not just surfing for miscellaneous info)
As early in the day as I can (no waiting til 11 PM to be able to report in by midnight)
Directly moves me TOWARD producing more income through service to others
Report to my BAP daily (at least in the beginning)
A conscious choice of this project is I haven’t set any strict goals to accomplish. I know some people are extremely motivated by goal setting, and I used to be. But there is something different about how I live in the world now. I’m more about “my dreams” instead of “the goals.” Semantics, maybe, but each have very different sensations in my system. Plus I know, by taking regular action, I’ll find the most appropriate path and have the coolest experiences — experiences I would have NEVER dreamed of. It’s the way my life has always rolled. 😉
Today is day six of the journey and I cannot even begin to tell you how much more I’ve accomplished AND BEEN EXCITED to accomplish, just by being willing to take ONE definitive business action per day. AND it’s washing over into the other aspects of my life (relationships, home improvement, nutrition, exercise, dog training, practicing Spanish and guitar). It’s like, by doing the business first – getting it done – I’m eager to take on the next business task OR I’m FREE to play without any guilt. I’m excited and curious to see how the next couple of weeks flesh out.
I’d love to hear how you ride out business paralysis, or how you don’t… it’s all good.
In loving service and lusciously definitive hugs, j